Proud Remembrance

Each year on this day, I spend quite a bit of time contemplating friends and family who died in the service of our country. Also, friends that were made while I served in the Navy who have passed away since that time. And I think about the uncle I was named for who died late in 1943. Finally, I consider the significance of Memorial Day. A few years ago, I wrote about Memorial Day. 

This year, when rereading this blog post, my attention has been drawn to the initial reason for Decoration Day (what Memorial Day was originally called). Here in a Southern state, examination of our history regarding race, slavery, and those who may have owned slaves is an interesting process involving suffering, contentiousness, invidiousness, jealousy, disdain, and pride. We want to rewrite our history from the perspective of the 21^st century rather than as it happened. We don’t want to remember our history as it was, we want to see it as we wish that it was.

Remembering those who have died in the military while in service for our country cannot, should not be a process of heroic designation any more than of vilification. Most of us who, in the service of our country, were neither heroes nor traitors. We were members of our families, communities, and military branches. We have contributed as our nature and circumstances have allowed. Those who died in that service contributed their lives, not always sacrificed for a higher cause, and not always circumstantially.

When looking back on our memories this Memorial Day, as Joni Mitchell so wonderfully pointed out, we might look at both sides now. We should see our “illusions” and realize that we don’t have the answers, that we really don’t know much about life ("Both Sides Now"). Some things lost and some things gained. I really don’t know life and, therefore, remembering the death of those innocents who served metaphorically alongside us – our peers in a common experience – this is very important to me.

Remembering ordinary souls with pride is helpful in maintaining a perspective on our own ordinary lives. What is ordinary is also special as we are all anchored in a very particular place in time and space, the children of parents, the parents of children, cousins, aunts and uncles with long histories behind and unknown futures. Memorial Day is not for heroes. Memorial Day is about finding perspective.

Memorial Day

It seems that every year I get all worked up about Memorial Day. The news media, as well

as online social media, always seem to be filled with confusion about what Memorial Day is all about. It is not just that there are so many veterans groups that are screaming for attention, but that there is a reason that we have two holidays – Memorial Day and Veterans Day.

Memorial Day is a national holiday that began as a day of remembrance for soldiers killed from both sides in the American Civil War. It was originally called Decoration Day and folks went to cemeteries and placed flowers and small flags on the graves of family, friends, and community members that had been killed during wartime. Memorial Day is held on the last Monday in the month of May.

Veterans Day began as Armistice Day to commemorate the cessation of hostilities between the forces of the Allied nations against Germany during what was known as the Great War (later World War I). The fighting came to an end at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of 1918. A year later, President Woodrow Wilson declared November 11, 1918 as Armistice Day. In 1938 it officially became a national holiday.

The initial intent of Armistice Day was to remember the devastation of war and the losses of life. It was meant to be a celebration of peace. In 1954, following the conflict in Korea, and after the greatest mobilization of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen in the Nation’s history during World War II, Congress changed the name to Veterans Day and it became a day to honor American veterans of all wars.

It is understandable that some confusion might arise from the way that these holidays have had their names and definitions evolve. However, historically, each has a clear role in calling attention to specific themes. Memorial Day is meant to honor those who have fallen while in the service of our country. Veterans Day, although inclusive of the dead, is meant to honor those that serve, or have served, with the goal of world peace.

Memorial Day has always had special meaning for me because I am named for a family

member who was killed during World War II a year before my birth. Being named for an uncle that I would never meet or know, who died as a soldier. This has always been something that I have recognized as an honor of the highest order. Although buried in the Sicily-Rome American Cemetery and Memorial in Italy, a tombstone stands in the cemetery near the family home where I grew up. Throughout my youth, it was a solemn annual event to visit the grave of this man to place a pot of geraniums and a flag. A visit to the cemetery 40 miles south of Rome remains on my personal “bucket list”.

So, if you please, rather than boisterous raving for our service men and veterans on this Memorial Day, silently reflect on the sacrifices made by so many service men who did not survive, or returned only to suffer from wounds received fighting to restore peace in a world messed up by political failure, the abuse of power, and economic inequity. "Celebrating" this holiday is a misnomer that feeds the notion that we are doing something right, or righteous. Memorial Day is a day of mourning and reflects a sadness is an absolute necessity for us to find a better way to live together peacefully.