Proud Remembrance

Each year on this day, I spend quite a bit of time contemplating friends and family who died in the service of our country. Also, friends that were made while I served in the Navy who have passed away since that time. And I think about the uncle I was named for who died late in 1943. Finally, I consider the significance of Memorial Day. A few years ago, I wrote about Memorial Day. 

This year, when rereading this blog post, my attention has been drawn to the initial reason for Decoration Day (what Memorial Day was originally called). Here in a Southern state, examination of our history regarding race, slavery, and those who may have owned slaves is an interesting process involving suffering, contentiousness, invidiousness, jealousy, disdain, and pride. We want to rewrite our history from the perspective of the 21^st century rather than as it happened. We don’t want to remember our history as it was, we want to see it as we wish that it was.

Remembering those who have died in the military while in service for our country cannot, should not be a process of heroic designation any more than of vilification. Most of us who, in the service of our country, were neither heroes nor traitors. We were members of our families, communities, and military branches. We have contributed as our nature and circumstances have allowed. Those who died in that service contributed their lives, not always sacrificed for a higher cause, and not always circumstantially.

When looking back on our memories this Memorial Day, as Joni Mitchell so wonderfully pointed out, we might look at both sides now. We should see our “illusions” and realize that we don’t have the answers, that we really don’t know much about life ("Both Sides Now"). Some things lost and some things gained. I really don’t know life and, therefore, remembering the death of those innocents who served metaphorically alongside us – our peers in a common experience – this is very important to me.

Remembering ordinary souls with pride is helpful in maintaining a perspective on our own ordinary lives. What is ordinary is also special as we are all anchored in a very particular place in time and space, the children of parents, the parents of children, cousins, aunts and uncles with long histories behind and unknown futures. Memorial Day is not for heroes. Memorial Day is about finding perspective.

Hubris: It's as American as hot dogs and apple pie.

Politicians, CEOs, News anchors in the media, people we know, even ourselves have fed off of it.

 Hubris: exaggerated pride or self-confidence

Although most of us have probably felt a degree of personal shame for having exhibited some hubris in our lives, I don’t think that any of us have achieved the degree of notoriety that our elected officials have. Think about it, just by having been elected by so many "positive" votes, they leave the general population far behind with a mouthful of their gloating dust. 

Let's take a step back though, to our own experiences with hubris. Most of us have had some form of positive feedback that allowed the hubris that we subsequently realized may have been over the top for the person that we might think ourselves to be. We may have felt embarrassed or shamed by our behavior. 

You see, it’s a question of scale. We share in a human nature that is filled with a scalable dark side. Furthermore, consider then that we might deny our humanity, our relationship with any of these maniacs who have so much moxie. That is also hubris. As Marlon Brando has pointed out, we “coulda been a contender!” Coulda, woulda, shoulda! Damn! 

Do you see that? We almost accomplished something. Everything is relative, and in many respects, we do accomplish much in our lives. The art of positive thinking is a balance between self confidence and doubt. Stuff and nonsense! Hubris is the suppression of negativity in our thinking. It has nothing to do with the validity or logic of our thoughts or beliefs. The yin and the yang coexist without judgement.

In the past week, I’ve felt a calmness. I watch the evening news and not see much of the G.O.A.T. practitioner of hubris.* My blood pressure is almost normal. I was able to anticipate yet another super bowl that disappointed the majority of viewers. COVID numbers had been falling from the holidays when Americans' practiced mass hubris. It has almost felt normal after a year of anxiety without much distraction.

Now, we’re back to the politics of impeachment and the differing opinions of those same elected officials mentioned above. They will all have a platform for their hubris that we do not have. Our personal hubris will be measured by our frustration. We have given up control to those who must have their own egos boosted to the imagined reality that democratic ideals represent. We have to live with it. 

After a lifetime of watching the hubris of the news media, once the evening news and now the likes of Fox and CNN going at it all day long. Thank god for Netflix!

Post Script: Is hubris always a bad thing? Clearly there are many occasions when hubris has been a necessary ingredient for success. It may be a mask or a shield or the impetus to move forward. 

* Greatest Of All Time - a profound claim that would have many in contention with very little factual meaning.