I’m going to receive several piercing looks from my better half today as that moment in time when the guests begin to arrive grows near.

One of the finer things about Thanksgiving is the inevitable discussion on the “division of labor.” It is hard to imagine why this ever comes up. My spousal unit clearly fits the slot for “skilled” labor while the role of the “unskilled” is also necessary, it must be depreciated for its nature. It is a valid argument that someone must watch the pots simmer and make piercing glances at the lower tier of domestic society.

Last night we sought refuge from our kitchen at a local restaurant. After a day of standing over a cutting board, it seemed imperative that my spousal unit should be allowed some escape from the need to plan and prepare yet another meal – especially when the effort required for today loomed on the horizon.

 It was interesting to observe the large group of men that arrived to occupy a nearby table. No less than eight middle-aged men who were accompanied by one young girl (6-7 years old) and a teenaged boy. As two ice-filled buckets of beer bottles appeared, we wondered if these fellows had simply been kicked out of home, hearth, and kitchen while their 8 wives had pumped up the stove and oven. I don’t like to imagine what a kitchen of 8 women must be like. Who’s in charge? What is the division of labor?  How many of them are not in the kitchen or the restaurant the evening before Thanksgiving? Who cleans up? Yet, these fellows were not rookies or novices. They had a look of relaxed contentment. They were together, as were their wives. My suspicion is that those 8 women were the best of friends and loved having gotten those men out of the way. All of us are thankful for such scenarios.

I know that I’m going to receive several piercing looks from my better half today as that moment in time when the guests begin to arrive grows near. I will have done my best to have the table expanded and the chairs in place. There will be no dirty pots and pans piled up in the sink and the dishwasher will be emptied and ready to fill. The camera batteries will be charged, the bar set up, and kitchen garbage bags ready to fill with the remains to Tom Turkey and his uneaten vegetable sidekicks. Our guests and my talented spousal unit chef will be home and in bed long before the clean-up is complete.  Like any sport, this will be a team effort – a team that is made up of an all-star and a supporting player – neither of which could pull this off without the other.  We are thankful.

We have been at this sport for a long time. We have not been good at bringing our children along to their participatory roles. They arrive with families in tow and start pouring the wine. They drink and eat too much and when they leave we are happy to see them go. Alas, we are thankful!  On their behalf, they have become more helpful, although still not consistent. We have not trained them well – we have served them – they are our children after all. We are thankful.

Tonight at midnight, I suspect that there will be at least one guest that I will be boiling over about, but that is the nature of serving. People learn from what is done for them and what is done to them. At midnight, no doubt, the cleaning up will be nearly done. Chronic back pain will be killing me and exhaustion will dominate all thinking. There will not be a quiet moment to sit and reflect about what a wonderful day it has been – I wish that there could be – but, I’ll be damned if I will leave such a mess for tomorrow. In the morning, I will be thankful for that.

Next year we will be looking forward to doing this all over again. We will have missed that quiet moment after the guests have left and as the crumbs and dust settles. Our brains would not know what to do with that quiet moment – that is simply not who we are. But, little by little, we will have recovered and had the realization that we have brought value to our lives and the lives of our guests. We will have enjoyed the effort and so will our guests. We will have enjoyed our guests and felt their appreciation. We will all be thankful.