"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Love the Holidays! 

One reason that I love the holiday season is for the cultural clashes that surface. Some are more significant than others. My pal, Patricia Dalton Fennell, has produced and does vocals on Chris Pasin’s new holiday album – “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Therefore, this controversy is on my radar.

Read reviews HERE

In an interview by HLN-CNN, Carol Costello was clearly looking for a hot button to use regarding the storm blowing around the holiday classic song, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

The song is a beautiful romantic conversation involving a call-and-response duet with the “cold outside” excuse to prolong the lover’s cuddle. Somehow, early in our 21^st century, the “politically correct” police began to allege that the song is sort of a date-rape anthem.

This may be somewhat of a stretch.

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” was composed in 1944 by Frank Loesser (Guys and Dolls and How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying). It was first recorded in 1948 and used in the 1949 film, Neptune’s Daughter, a romantic comedy starring Esther Williams, Red Skelton, Ricardo Montalbán, Betty Garrett, Keenan Wynn, Xavier Cugat and Mel Blanc. The film was very successful and has been nominated to be one of the American Film Institute’s best musical movies. The song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” won the Academy Award for Best Original Song.

The context of the World War II era and the immediate post-war years might be thought, in retrospect by some, to be “innocent” but I think not. We were involved in the second world war of the century when the song was written and, in the late ‘40s, the film industry was fairly conservative in matters regarding sex due to the restrictions place upon it by the Hays Code.  In fact, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” was a replacement for Loesser’s “Slow Boat to China” which was thought inappropriate by the Hays Office.

Projecting our values backwards in time is difficult. There is no denying that the male "caveman" and his romantic methods were crude and abusive. The evolution of male-female relationships has been slow, and sensitivity has always been overpowered by impulse and raw emotion. We like to think of ourselves as intelligent, rational and civilized. But, history has proven that we are not necessarily as advanced as we often think.

My conclusion is that “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is both humorous and romantic. The notion of “date rape” is symptomatic of a glass half-empty. Sure, it can be superficially viewed as date rape, but that requires some analytical assumptions that are based on conjecture rather than solid evidence.

The popularity of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with artists of today is due to the idyllic nature of romance. There is a very polite interaction going on. Perhaps, that is what is so romantic about it. 

My pal, Patricia, is a thoughtful woman. She not only has a beautiful voice and vocal style, she is no stranger to the issue of sexual misconduct, having provided assessment and treatment for sex offenders, victims, and families in situations involving incest, assault, and school-based sex crimes.

Here are some performances of the song, give a listen and decide how you feel about it.

 

The album Baby, It’s Cold Outside, recorded by Chris Pasin and Friends, is at No. 45 and is this week’s “biggest gainer” on the Jazzweek jazz chart.

See also Stephen Leon's article on Patricia Dalton Fennel's blog, "Live, Care, Create"

A Bookstore Question – "What Should I Read Next?"

This summer I have been teaching a course called "A Literary History of Murder." A common inquiry that participants in my classes have is what to read next. This is also a regular question that booksellers hear from customers. 

Booksellers field this inquiry routinely and, because of a familiarity with what is currently selling best, what is being talked about in the media, book reviews, and what they personally enjoy, it is a simple question. For many readers, however, this can be a perpetual challenge.

The "ask a bookseller" strategy may solve our immediate desire and provide us with a reasonable

alternative, but it may not give us a longer term reading trajectory. I do not mean that we do not make great discoveries following bookseller suggestions, but this method can be impersonal and happenstance.

Besides, in today's world, fewer of us are visiting bookstores and, when we do, we might find that the booksellers have been replaced by clerks who are trained to replenish stock and operate a cash register  –  not to field the array of esoteric questions that booksellers have traditionally done.

One reason why I enjoy teaching courses on the evolution of crime literature is because thinking about how the genre has evolved helps the reader to understand what appeals particularly to them. With an understanding from their own perspective, they are able to define personal tastes. They realize how to follow a thread of interest and discover paths of their own.

Between classes, I use online surveys to both introduce and explore material that relate to the genre's development of topics, styles, and context. My survey question are typically multiple choice with the possibility that all the answers might be either right or wrong. Surveys are anonymous and there is no report card or scoring. Participants enjoy the surveys and in class we look at all the possible answers. Why might an answer be right or wrong? We have fun!

I would like to share our final survey, which asks participants to imagine themselves in a bookstore and make recommendations to customers. Customer profiles are influenced by a classic style of joke, that is, "three men walk into a bar . . . "

In this case, "a priest, a rabbi, a black, and a blonde walk into a bookstore . . . " No other information is provided.

Any of these "customers" can be easily stereotyped, but are they either male or female, young or old, tall or short, etc.? Stereotypes can vary  –  culturally, socially, sexually, geographically, etc.

So, what would you recommend? Why would you recommend a certain book? Does the stereotype matter?

Take this anonymous survey

As with my class, I will share the results in a future post. Thanks for your participation.

Sleepless Obsessions, A Tree Named “Linda”, and A Cry For Help

This morning I awoke obsessing about trees. Trees? Why trees? I’m not talking about specific trees – not in my yard, not in a nearby park, not seen on a hike that I’ve done, Sequoias, Cyprus, Coconut trees, or any trees that I’ve known or had any real contact with. This is a tree, or trees, that materialized in a dream last night – just evolved from sleep-state dream to wake-state obsession. You know, like when you find yourself unable to sleep in the middle of the night and there is something that is bothering you in a way that you can’t let go of – may not even be able to identify it in any clear way.  This experience wasn’t exactly like that but reminded me of those experiences.

Please allow me to explain: my dream is a story about a family that had purchased a home, moved in, and discovered a notebook filled with names that had been assigned to a tree, or trees, in their yard. Sometime in the past, a tree in the yard had been named. The name of the tree was not revealed in the dream, but the existence of the notebook was somewhat defined for me.

The notebook contains, perhaps, a couple dozen names that had been assigned to a tree in the yard. There is a suggestion that there might have been more than a single tree being named because a male/female relationship seems to occur in such a way that there are contiguous names assigned.

Names seem to have been assigned over a lengthy period suggesting a long and rich history of multiple dwellers over a long stretch of time. It could be 20, 30, 50 years or longer.

As this dream changes from sleep-state into partial wake-state and finally the “oh no” eyes-wide-open, “oh my gosh” obsession to define the contents of that notebook, I was saved by the realization that it was actually time to get up. This is the kind of thing that I know will haunt me. It will happen again. Perhaps tonight, perhaps tomorrow night, or another night – certainly, it will be in the middle of the night and I will need to dig down into my subconscious mind to fill in this notebook. Many sleepless nights are threatened by this kind of haunting obsession.

This experience will not be a substitute for counting sheep during a night when unable to sleep. This has the potential for a truly disturbing nighttime obsession. Please help me to keep this from happening. Help fill in the notebook and save me from sleepless obsessions.

A guide for doing this can be found in my morning experience as the transition from sleep-dream to subconscious to conscious took place.  In the dream I had begun to read the notebook and found that, for example, a tree had been named as a result of a visitor to the home casually observing that the tree was beautiful. This resulted being that the tree, just as casually, is given the name of “Linda” – Spanish for “beautiful.”

After this, my waking / dreaming is less clear. Either the same tree, or another that seems

somehow be paired, and is given a male name that also begins with the letter “L” and has 5 letters. I’m not clear on that name – might have been Lukas, or Loren, or Louis – it doesn’t matter. In this dream-story, however, a problem arises in that this male name has not selected with suitable selection logic. So, the name “Larry” is chosen.

The explanation for “Larry” is that it is a nickname for Laurence Olivier. Thus, a theatrical theme enters the naming process, and now “Linda” may have to go. It just doesn’t seem fit anymore. The process of replacing “Linda” might suggest how this call for help might work.

At this point, I am waking up and my brain is not functioning clearly. The beginnings of an obsession are though. At this stage, the notebook needs a female name that is involved with theatre and begins with the letter “L.” The 5-letter restriction is forgotten.  

Now, my mind racing obsessively to dig up potentially fitting names. How about: “Lucy” (Liu – love her as Watson)? “Linda” (Lovelace – springs into the mind early on because we wouldn’t have to change Linda’s name)? “Lauren” (Graham – there is something about her that I like, but not a big fan of the Gilmore Girls)? “Liv” (Tyler – she’s had some interesting roles, and I’m sure that Steven is very proud of her, but perhaps not my best choice)? “Lisa” (Bonet – will she always be a Huxtable?)? “La La” (Anthony – wife of Carmelo, don’t just love “La La”)? “Lea” (Michele – hot! versatile – she intimidates me for some unknown reason)? “Lisa” (Kudrow – smart, flakey, likeable)? “Lindsay” (Lohan – maybe a bit too crazy for my tree)? “Lady” (Gaga – I like it but what about “Lady” Day? The tree’s naming may have pre-dated Gaga)? Do you see how this is becoming obsessive?

The notebook does contain a rich and fascinating history. Thinking back later – after breakfast – the notebook seems to be filled with indecipherable hieroglyphic-like content. It needs to find its focus point with the names and history of their selection. The tree(s) seem naked without their names and stories. OMG, please help to fill this notebook in before sleep deprivation gets the better of me.

How did the notebook get started? And, how did it keep going? Does it begin with the name, “Geoff” – perhaps suggesting a rambling continuation of tales such as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales?  I’ve always had a fascination with Scheherazade whose stories in the One Thousand and One Arabian Nights kept her alive as long as the yarns kept coming. Could the original name have been something like “Sche” or even “Cher”?

Just wondering what stimulated the beginning of this notebook contains high octane potential obsession. Oh, won’t you please help me?

In the Comments below please share your thoughts and suggestions. How would you name the trees in your yard? What would the reasoning be for the name(s) that you choose? Think of a house where you have lived – think of trees that you have known (hugged). Please help.

A Message to New Adapters of Social Media: Facebook is a Great Forum for Showing Off, Bullying, or Intelligent Discourse

An old friend has been considering joining Facebook. My friend is politically active in the community and is a personal archive of the good, the bad, and the ugly found in that community. A person the community needs, although certainly a thorn in the foot of some agendas. Needed, however, because, in these days of questionable facts, it is more important than ever to examine facts. What are facts, what are opinions, and what are misdirects?

Educating someone on the style of communication that is required for the effective use of social media is not an easy task. The concept of organic conversation shared electronically has a very informal nature rather than a more formal style that we might be, either used to, or simply want. And postings need to be short and snappy, engineered communication rather than ramblings.

A number of years ago, I made an effort to teach social media communication to fellow oldsters at the College for Seniors here on the university campus. Facebook was still relatively new and the senior demographic had become the fastest growing segment of Facebook users. At the same time, their children and grandchildren were still relatively new to the medium as well. It seemed that it was an opportunity for the more experienced and sage members of society to participate in an exciting new social experiment. If we could sensitize ourselves to the style of communication that was attracting others to Facebook, we would have a chance at a leadership role that would allow us to share our wisdom in a manner that might actually be heard.

My experience was similar to running into a stone wall. Those who signed up for the course were only

interested in seeing the images that their children and grandchildren were posting. They were reticent to sharing their own thoughts and ideas.  They couldn’t be bothered to attempt understanding how they might communicate with others. I asked them why they felt that this approach would do anything constructive. Why waste their energy on simply passive participation? Would they still be interested when those cute pictures of children turned into pictures of new tattoos, wild parties, and outrageous images of their friends acting out? This is what young people do. A long time ago, many of us lived this life.

Taking an active role on Facebook is a challenge. It requires an awareness of how to effectively communicate. It requires a commitment to an ideal. It requires a willingness to adapt. It is not a great medium for the righteous. It is, however, a great place to expose ideas and convince. This will not be done with a lack of respect, or drawing lines in the sand. As stated above, Facebook is a medium for engineered communication. Facts can be presented, reiterated, and later used as the basis for points that we would like to make. They cannot be tossed in the face of those with different points of view. Those folks already have their “alternate” facts. They need to be subtly led to truth not hit in the head with it.

At least this is my humble opinion. Now, can I show you my new tattoo?

Can we blame the Russians for trying to influence our elections? I think not.

Oh, the old "double edged sword" comes back to bite us. Can we blame the Russians for trying to influence our elections? I think not.

International diplomacy is anything but a "gentlemen's game." The U.S. has a well documented history of interfering with the elections of other countries. According to a researcher at Carnegie Mellon University, the United States did it more than 80 times between 1946 and 2000. This data doesn't include other types of interventions such as a covert coup d'etats (Iran, 1953 or Guatemala, 1954). Calling our diplomatic behavior "gentlemanly" is an absurd notion, and expecting such behavior from anyone else in the international community is even more ridiculous.

If President Trump, or his campaign, was complicit in such a conspiracy, then we have a domestic problem as well as the usual international challenges. Are we playing in our own excrement? With the outcome of our election as it is, and the appointment of individuals with even modest associations (that may in any way be suspicious or have possible involvement with such conspiracies in order to gain influence or power) to high level positions in our government, it seems very appropriate to follow up with an independent investigation.

If our Representatives have rubber-stamped President Trump's political appointments for reasons that are meant to be "respectful" of the Office of the President, and this behavior proves to be cavalier rather than responsible, we ought to be taking a deeper look at that behavior. After all, we elected these Representatives. Is there a culture among our Representatives that separates them from their responsibility to their constituents? Keep in mind that a constituency includes all, not just those who voted one way or another.

It is time to consider empirical behavior that is based on what we believe is consistent with principle rather than bias. Our Representatives seem willing to stand in jello and alter their positions based on statistically biased polls that are commissioned to back up a position rather than to define one. Their primary objective seems not to "represent" their constituency. Rather it is to get elected and re-elected. They are opportunists. They have a form of personal charisma that attracts voters. They are actors with the philosophy of P. T. Barnum and the naive public are the "suckers."

Have we become a nation of individuals who seem to have become very lemming-like with oversimplified political polarization? Are we so wrapped up in our narcissistic insecurities that we are no longer capable of admitting what we don't know? Is it possible to respect differing opinions as we would like our opinions to be respected? Can we even admit that most of what we think we know is not fact but opinion?

I certainly don't like the sound of any of that. After all, I did well in school, received scholarships, went to graduate school, honestly and successfully survived for decades in business, and have achieved a comfortable retirement. Clearly I am capable of understanding the political games that surround us. There can be little doubt that my opinions represent what can only be right and just.

For many reasons, we would all like to believe that. The reality is, however, that there are as many human needs, desires, and personal biases as there are individual voters. We all want something that will help us to have a better life. Human nature has proven itself to be both selfish and short-sighted. Anyone with even a modest amount of education ought to be aware of this. But, we ignore (or should I say prioritize) what we know – it is one thing to understand human nature and another to behave unselfishly. There is no need for any of us to act as "gentlemen" or "gentlewomen" or even "civilized." There is no credibility in denial. The fact remains, we will almost always act based on self-interest rather than compromise for a broader good.

These are the very reasons that we select other individuals to represent our interests in governing our society. Our Representatives are given the task of making judgments based on social rather than individual principles. Their roll is to help us to overcome our individual weaknesses and act for a common good. We need them to keep us from going at each other in such a polarized manner that we are stalemated.

There really is no need to continue this rant. We all know that we have let each other down. Our government has failed us because we have failed our government. Once we are able to come to grips with our situation, perhaps we will be able to find solutions and save ourselves.

Traveling to Find Our Holiday Lights

Over the years it has occurred to me, on more than one occasion that the energy and cost that travel requires may not be so important to a happy and contented life. Friends and family are the fundamental ingredients for a blissful existence. On the other hand seeing other places, and how their inhabitants occupy their environment, does enrich us in ways that are both subtle and profound. How do we know that, if our lives did not include a broad geosocial point of view, we could be as happy? Would there be the same feeling of fulfillment? How would we see ourselves had we not seen and listened to others with different opinions and worldviews? Many of us can blame the failed politics of the Cold War, Vietnam, and our local draft boards for our first exposure to the world beyond the innocence of youth.


Historically, Americans shared a very isolated refuge from the rest of the world. The United States had been formed by people who wanted, or needed, to escape from various forms of oppression. Our isolation was our security. Then along came Darwin and Malthus who upset the applecart with ideas that punctured the romanticized bubbles of closed-minded thinking that we humans are so capable of. Our growing literacy gave us access to greatly expanded ideas, along with a whole lot more. We wanted an a varied diet, better tools, stylish as well as functional clothing, greater variety of all kinds of thinking and stuff. We had united a rather large array of cultures in a rather large area that was rich in resources and ideas that could be traded for the benefit of all. Sharing goods and services throughout the world should be good for everybody, right?


Humans are social animals. We depend on one another for survival – men, women, physical strengths, mental aptitudes, and various combinations of these – we must have learned as cavemen that life is better when we work together. However, the antithesis is that we are not perfect animals. We have flaws and idiosyncrasies. Our ability to work together requires that we meet challenges, and we learn that our failures are very real. Thus, we are insecure about the very concept that makes us stronger. There is a yin and a yang to human existence that is complex and often incomprehensible.

Now, you are asking, during this holiday season, what is this about? The answer is simple. Our family, our friends, our acquaintances, frenemies, adversaries, our travels, and our exposure to others with their different ways of doing things, their ways of coping, are necessary elements in making us all better prepared for life’s challenges. Valuing our relationships in the world we live in is a key to finding real happiness.


It is easy to say that this is something that we’ve learned after decades of living, but that’s not true. We learn as we go and what we learn evolves with time and experience. Knowledge is defined by an array of things – who we have interacted with, when, what else may have been happening in our lives at the time, what we have read and learned before and after, and so much more. It’s complicated.

Most important is the realization that everyone that we encounter along the way has more than the potential to influence us in some way. With every personal association in our lives, we have gained context, as well as perspective. We learn sympathy, empathy, disdain, and respect. We learn that all contacts can turn on a light in our hearts and brains and provide meaning to something else. For this reason, the holiday season gives us an opportunity to reach out and tell others that we owe them our gratitude for making our lives better. The act of doing this makes us happy. Personally, I’m still not feeling content. There is no possible way that I can express my pleasure adequately. Maybe you won’t read this. Maybe you won’t read it in the spirit that it is meant. Maybe I should have realized sooner. Maybe I should have articulated sooner. Maybe next year.


To all the holiday lights in our lives, your brilliance shines every day. May the coming year bring both happiness, contentment, and light to you all.

Thank You for Your Service! – Breaking News: Veterans ARE NOT Heroes

Veterans’ Day is viewed in a variety of ways. Unlike Memorial Day, it is a day to celebrate those who have survived their military service. As a veteran, I like the idea of having a Veterans Day. It ought to be a National Holiday of the same stature as Presidents Day or the Fourth of July. There is much pride to be taken away from the concept of service to one’s country.

For me, Veterans Day is a day of reflection. I am proud to have served. I believe there is a value in service. I believe that we should all have a service obligation as part of our education and maturation process. That does not mean that we should all serve in the military.

There are many ways that we can and should serve. We need to look after the hungry, the cold, the sick, the homeless. We need to share our educational experiences both domestically and internationally. There are "haves" and "have-nots" in this world and without equality, we are all missing something. We have the Peace Corps, Amercorps, U.S. AID, UNISEF, Doctors without Borders, etc. There are many – both government sponsored, religious, and private organizations where one might serve. Like the requirement that children must remain in school until a certain age, there should also be a requirement that all youth should do public service. We might also make public service a part of our immigration policy – if you want in to American society – as a youth, as an adult or as an immigrant – you should be willing to contribute by serving.

This is, you might say, a rather idealistic way of thinking. Goals and ideals are tools for creating structure upon which we can seek improvement. Therefore, we need to continue to entertain such thinking and not simply dismiss it because we do not have solutions that might lead to implementation. Who ever said that this life was supposed to be easy. Service is actually a means of realizing that it takes effort to succeed in this life.

Back to the military veterans that we celebrate today – during my time in the military, I encountered all kinds. There were those who were drafted into service and there were those who volunteered. There were those from families with long histories and traditions of military service and there were those who got dragged into it by the political and diplomatic shortcomings of those who govern. There were those who were given the enlistment option by their local parole boards and family courts. There were those who could find no other work. There were all kinds. We were all tossed together into a pot and stirred. Some who did the stirring were better at it than others – they also ran the gamut of human imperfection.

We hated military service and we loved it. Sometimes those who loved it claimed that they hated it and vice versa. We all needed to get along. We couldn’t wait to be discharged and we couldn’t wait to advance. Every attitude and situation could fit into some kind of array that contained both good and bad; strength and weakness; success and failure. The variation and possibility was much greater than anything that we might have known before.

It is funny now to see that some of the biggest flag-waving patriots of today were the most troubled and difficult during their time in service. Others, who were obnoxiously gung-ho – not so much. Some avoided complete commitment in Reserve Units and others suffered the horrors of the battlefield. Some veterans will never feel that they have received what they feel is due to them for their service while others are embarrassed anytime that someone today thanks them. Most were not heroes. We were and are normal, everyday folk who served.